"... and nobody ever missed the old domain."
September 24, 2023
tags: inspiration first
I was reading Yumi (aka big mike, aka prettyboytellem, aka wesl-ee)’s blog again recently and like every time, I’m kicking myself for not having ever stuck to my own diary sooner. “The next best time is today” is how the quote goes, and so on September 24th at 9:49PM, I’m finally going to do it.
I have a lot of thoughts that I’ve wanted to get out over the years, though quite frankly I was almost definitely too emotionally immature to have said anything of value at the time; however I think that if I did have some collection of my thoughts from those formative years I would have a better understanding of myself now. Getting to look back on a very intimate portrait of yourself that you no longer identify as yourself is something I’ve been missing out on.
I’ve also been missing out on a lot of stuff I should have done. I remember going into university I wanted to do so much cool stuff. I remember sitting on the front stairs of my house with Magnus, talking about wanting to set up an imageboard for my university campus like howler.space, or the very long list of “SFML project”s I’ve left in my wake that I was so sure would become something, yet turned out to be nothing.
A lot of my ideas over the years have been in some way or another, trying to replicate my inspirations. In fact, I’m going to replicate something from yumi’s old blog and list what I’m listening to as I write this (giving up on you - JAWNY). I used to be worried about taking ideas from others and how it would reflect on me, but I get now that everyone takes inspiration from someone or something else and tries to copy it, and that in doing so we make something uniquely ours. So really, I’m actually proud of myself now for taking the idea, Take that!
I also realize that I will quickly divert into my own style of writing and things that I document as time goes on. Like for example, I also plan to crimp on a bunch of my favourite youtuber’s styles of “new journalism” to try and log the remaining memories of my youth before I lose them to the primordial void like the rest of them (I’ll write more about this another post, if I ever remember to do so). I hope that as I finally let all of these pent up ideas flow that things will level out, but until then I have a lot of work to do to make up for lost time.
“In August 2017 and after one year of operation, bigmike.sne.jp is forfeit in favor of bm.howler.space and nobody ever missed the old domain.”
I in fact missed it. I’m gonna go finish the episode of gamecenter CX I paused a few hours ago (S4E10).